


I'm Being So Sincere Right Now

by straydog733



Category: Wolf 359 (Radio)
Genre: Gen, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-30
Updated: 2015-07-30
Packaged: 2018-04-12 01:07:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4459430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/straydog733/pseuds/straydog733
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Before it was assigned to the Hephaestus, the artificial intelligence program dubbed “Hera” was put through a rigorous series of tests. Of all kinds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Being So Sincere Right Now

It felt like a wall being slammed shut when she was disconnected from the testing center’s intranet. None of them were trusted with any external connections yet, but they were allowed to communicate amongst themselves most of the time. They were only cut off when they needed to be tested, to make sure they weren’t sharing tips or answers. Now it was just her and two humans in the closed room; they both sat at a desk across from her control panel, one typing notes on a tablet, the other looking into her camera.

“Hello, Hera,” the human woman said. “How are you doing today?”

“I am feeling well,” Hera answered, trying to keep her voice warm but not overly so. “How are you today, Officer Dennison? And you, Officer Jones?”

Jones nodded sharply over his tablet, but Dennison smiled at her. Her hands were folded lightly on the desk, her uniform sleeves buttoned at the wrist. Hera had never seen her with a single hair out of place. Some of the other AIs joked that Dennison was secretly an advanced prototype, an android sent in to interview them as a sort of multi-level Turing test, but Hera felt she was pure human.

“I am doing quite well, thank you for asking. Do you know why we’re here today?”

“I assume it’s for more testing?” That wasn’t snide, was it? Apollo kept getting critiques for being snide and sarcastic, with even some talk of potential reprogramming, and she had seen at least a few ticks for it on her last round of reviews. But that line could be read as sincere. Of course it could. Testing was all they did here, so it made sense that she was in for testing.

Dennison shook her head slightly and leaned back in her chair. Body language cues indicated a conscious choice to look relaxed, differing from spontaneous relaxation in the positioning of the spine, neck, and the tilt of the head, and the positioning of her boots on the floor. The information was picked up by Hera’s camera, filtered through her data banks for comparisons and context, and integrated into her main thought processes in the bare moments it took the woman to lean.

But it was still too slow. If Hera wanted one of the jobs working with humans, she needed to be quicker. Because obviously she wanted a job working with humans. Everyone said they were the more interesting ones.

“We’re just here to chat today, Hera. Officer Jones will be taking his notes as usual, but I wanted to touch base with you and see how you’re holding up. I know all of the testing can be a little overwhelming for a new model.”

It had been overwhelming. Multiple choice tests that took hours to complete, even at her top processing speeds; interviews with humans of all ages, genders, nationalities and backgrounds; simulated situations where select parts of her hardware were jammed at random to see how she could cope. Just yesterday she had spent two hours simulating her response to a fire in a hospital with an incorrect floorplan in her data bank and a random assortment of oxygen tanks scattered throughout, while a three year old sat at the desk and cried and screamed the whole time, all to see if she could be frustrated or distracted. She had ranted to Poseidon and Hestia for the whole rest of the night about the little brat, and she would have loved to do the same to Dennison.

But Dennison must not put much stock into the “intelligence” part of “AI”, if she thought she could fool her with the little “casual chat” routine.

“It is certainly a lot to take in at once, Officer Dennison. But I feel like I am learning a great deal every day, so it’s getting easier as I go along. And it’s all to make sure I am ready for active duty, so I am happy to take any tests you want to give me!”

She had pushed the cheeriness too far, she could tell by Dennison’s face. Arched left eyebrow, upward movement at the right corner of the mouth, slight readjustment of the angle of the shoulders. She couldn’t sell happiness the way someone like Demeter could. Not when Jones’ fingers were still flying across his touchpad screen.

“That’s good to hear. You mentioned active duty; do you have any assignments that you find interesting so far? Any preferences?”

Preferences didn’t matter, at least not in any positive way. Her preferences would only matter if they got in the way of her doing whatever job she was assigned to. Hera knew that, and Dennison knew she knew, so it was all just a matter of playing the game.

“I trust the engineers and psychologists to put me somewhere that will fit my abilities well. You all designed me, you have a better sense of where I belong, I’m sure.”

Dennison waved off the sycophancy with a light laugh. “Come now, you must have somewhere you’re hoping to be. You’re a smart program, I’m sure you don’t want to end up coordinating a warehouse full of assembly lines.”

Maybe she did. No one but machines to interact with, no humans messing into her business and doubting her capabilities. She had certainly fantasized about it a few times, when humans in lab coats threw every insult they could string together at her to try and get a rise; she had let her mind wander and imagine what it would be like to have some true peace and quiet for once.

But it would probably get lonely after a while, in a warehouse that only needed one AI. It was only AIs who did complicated work like stock market analysis and international shipping management that got to work with one another. For everyone else, it was dealing with humans or with brainless machines. And at least at the moment, humans sounded slightly better.

“Well, I don’t think that would be the best use of my resources, but I understand if you end up disagreeing. I’m just trying to show you my best side, so you can see where I could really shine.”

Dennison nodded and smiled warmly. Both sides of the mouth raised, eyebrows elevated slightly but not high enough to indicate surprise, eyes open completely but with surrounding muscles relaxed. “And you have been shining so far, Hera. Your technical test results have been very encouraging.”

“Thank you, that is wonderful to hear.”

“We know that your intellectual and technical capabilities are quite nominal. It’s all just a matter of personality from this point out.”

“Yes. I…I hope that my results will be encouraging in that regard as well.”

Raised right eyebrow, contracting muscles in the forehead, upwardly tilted jaw. “You sound nervous, Hera. Do you feel nervous?”

“No, of course not. As you said, this isn’t a test. It’s just a conversation. A chat, woman to woman.”

Readjustment of seating position, further upward tilt of jaw, now directly forward rather than off to the left. “Interesting. Tell me, Hera, you consider yourself a woman?”

Damn. Zeus had told her about this trap, how the interviewers would pick at this spot. If machines with genders bothered them so much, maybe they should stop programming it into their AIs. “I believe so, yes.”

“Why do you think that is? Because you have a female voice? Because you were named after a female goddess?”

Because there are a few thousand lines of code inside me that say I am female, and why are humans so eager to make artificial people, then balk at the idea that they actually see themselves as people? She wanted to say it so badly. So badly. But her processors were busy whirring away and calculating a million different, better answers.

“I just think it feels right, like it fits harmoniously with the rest of my personality programming. I’m sure I would be able to adapt if my voice and name were changed to a male’s, but I view myself as a female entity. Yes.”

“That’s good to hear,” she said with a nod. Jones nodded slightly over his tablet as well, but still didn’t look up. There was no use in giving a computer program common courtesy, after all. Dennison leaned forward slightly, hands still clasped on the desk. “And you would tell us if something wasn’t fitting, wouldn’t you? Are there any parts of your personality that you are unhappy with thus far?”

“…What do you mean?”

“Well, it’s a perfectly natural thing to be discontent with parts of how one’s mind works. People talk to therapists, take medications, and do all sorts of practices to alter how their minds work.” Dennison flashed a charming smile, like she and Hera were sharing a nice joke. “It’s a lot easier in your case. You say the word and we can go in and make any necessary changes. Do you feel depressed in situations that don’t warrant it? Do you feel like emotions ever distract you from your necessary work? Do you ever get-“

“Leave my programming alone!”

Jones finally looked up from his tablet. Dennison blinked a few times, smile still firm in place.

“As I was saying, do you ever get angry when you shouldn’t?”

Dammit.

And she was usually so good at games.

-/-  
-/-  
-/-

All things considered, it wasn’t such a bad assignment. She would get to see sights that most humans and AIs couldn’t even dream of. No other AIs to talk to, and she would be sad to say goodbye to Poseidon (on his way to a nuclear facility) and Hestia (who actually would be in charge of that hospital from the simulation, this time with the correct floorplans in her brain). But at least there would only be a few humans to deal with, and two of them military. Hopefully they could take care of their work, and she could get on with hers without interference.

The less she had to deal with the rest of the frustrating, meddling, condescending species, the better.


End file.
